My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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