I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
