try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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