Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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