One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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