I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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