Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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