Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
