YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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