Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
