I am in a vortex of obligation.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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