rhymes with "ouble enetration"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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