he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
