Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
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we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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