You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
