she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
