Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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