Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize