We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
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i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
not ubering you a puppy
I'm always down for nudity.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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