Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
