someone threw a dead crab at me
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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