how hairy? two words: wookie tits
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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