Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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