Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
