Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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