since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
