I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
