I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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