You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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