if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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