I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize