I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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