Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
