Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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