Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
