i just wanna soil my oats bro
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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