Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
