Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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