So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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