You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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