Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
