is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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