You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
