There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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