I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize