How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize