Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
