I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
