Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
