i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
