return my video game
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
