i jhust puked up my retainher.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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