The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
